Mr. Schulz, my boss, the one-eyed undertaker, called me in to hear about the meeting he had in Amsterdam with the head of the Mossad. I found him pleased as punch, stroking the dachshund on his lap and as always surrounded by a large number of coffins.
'How did it go?' I asked. 'Was it easy to find?' I had arranged this top secret meeting for him with the head of Mossad, somewhere in a back room in one of the poorer quarters of the city.
'Piece of cake, ' Schulz replied. 'Although I had to climb four steep and narrow staircases and their so called offices turned out to be nothing more than a little room, almost bare. Only a desk, a couple of chairs and a portrait of Ben Gurion on the wall. Not even an Israeli flag.'
'I told you, it's all very hush-hush. Frankly I am surprised he let you in the lion's den. Was he in disguise?' I had explained to Schulz that Mossad operatives never are what they seem, that they are really in disguise all the time.
'They both were! For a minute I thought to myself, you're in the wrong place, my friend.'
'There were two of them?' I asked, acting surprised.
'Yes, yes, the Israeli head of operations and his Dutch counterpart. Very professional people. They spoke very highly of you, by the way.'
'O, really? Thank you, that's nice. How were they disguised?'
'You are not going to believe this,' Schulz said. 'One was dressed as a monk! Totally believable, I must say, all in white, the habit reaching down to his sandals. Totally believable.'
'And the other?'
'The other was dressed as a woman. Not so believable, to tell you the truth, at first, but she... he explained he was disguised as a drag queen. Totally believable. She wore a red flamenco dress, thick black hair in a bun and dark glasses. She told me... well, he told me that he had to cover his eyes, because there are secrets in them that he can't disguise.'
'And what did you discuss?'
'Well, they showed me some top secret, eyes only documents. Very impressive.'
'What were they it about, these documents?'
'How would I know? It was all in Hebrew.'
'So it went well?'
'Yes, yes, of course! One of these days they will contact me with a very important assignment. You know what they said? They said, it's all good.'