Just as I walked away I caught some movement from the corner of my eye. A solitary figure disentangled itself from the dim and dark recesses of the Hard Cock Cafe and as it stepped out of the shadows I immediately recognised professor Marcel Hubnoth, in spite of the fact that he was wearing a little black dress that even in the most generous of moods I could not call little, nor pretty. Around his neck he wore a long string of pearls.
'Marcel!' I cried. 'What are you doing in a dump like this?'
'I could ask you the same question,' was his reply as he unsteadily on stiletto heels made his way towards me.
'I can explain,' I said. “Can we talk?'
'Sure we can talk,' he answered. 'Come on in, I'll pour you a drink.' He turned around, opened a back door and led me through a corridor to the bar. He switched on the lights and told me to sit at the counter as he moved behind it. He looked at me.
'What were you guys doing in my darkroom?'
'Your darkroom?' I asked surprised.
'I own this place, you heterosexual jerk of a donkey! Moshe Cohen and I bought this bar a few years ago, because in the smug darkness of this provincial town there is nowhere else to go for the like of us.' The professor had lost some of his decorum, as had the little black dress, by screaming at me like that, but then he regained his composure quickly, readjusted his bosom with both hands and asked me in his sweetest voice: 'Champagne? I think this occasion calls for champagne.'
A little flustered by his outburst, I meekly agreed.
It turned out that professor Hubnoth, by putting his ear to a gloryhole, had heard everything we discussed in the darkroom. I felt terribly uncomfortable and wondered whether it was mere coincidence that the professor was in the building at the same time we had our meeting there or if, alternatively, a mole had dug his way into our organisation?
I decided to come clean and tell him everything.
'I'm sorry,' I said. 'I need your help.'
'I know you're sorry, I'm sorry, too, but tell me, do you have any morals? Or is it some kind of game that you're playing with me?'