All pandemonium broke loose, as the archbishop and his entourage were on their knees looking for the prelate's dentures and people all around were shouting and jeering, jumping into the fountain and attacking the nude statues. Professor Hubnoth was in a frantic state and desperately tried to keep the mob from ruining his art work, when a loud car horn honked. He looked up and saw Elia ben Oso-Pardo clearing a path for a huge yellow vehicle with the headlights on making its way slowly through the narrow street towards the roundabout and its offensive statues. The car horn sounded as if a mysterious sea monster had suddenly surfaced and threatened to eat us whole. In fact it was a big earth-moving machine with a huge shovel.
'No!' cried professor Hubnoth. 'Don't!' He kicked off his high heel shoes and pulled his sparkly sequin sleeveless dress up to his knees and ran with surprising speed for such a heavy set man towards the interim mayor and the yellow vehicle that he was guiding towards the roundabout. Elia saw him coming and stopped in his tracks, signaling to the driver of the yellow monster to do the same.
'What the fuck do you think you're doing, Elia?', the professor shouted in Elia's face.
'I told you, the roundabout has to go. It will. Tonight.'
'O my God, you can't do that.' Professor Hubnoth, horrified, brought both his hands to his mouth and seemed to be on the verge of tears. Out of nowhere Shmuel Eregast jumped into the fray and took up his position beside the formidable Elia ben Oso-Pardo.
'Be horrified at this, heavens, be shocked and utterly appalled,' he quoted from the book of Jeremiah. At that moment Moshe Cohen came forward and stood beside his friend the professor. They held hands and stood firm. The archbishop and his entourage also took sides and joined Elia and Shmuel. Each of them tried to outdo the other with quotes from the Bible.
'“For all who do these things are an abomination unto the Lord and because of that the Lord thy God will drive them out before thee,”' exclaimed the archbishop who apparently had found his dentures again. 'Deuteronomy chapter eighteen, verse twelve,' he added and stepped aside to let the yellow vehicle continue on its destructive mission. The rabbi stepped forward. 'Wait a minute,' he said. 'Remember Daniel who, when asked what to do with the statue of Caesar the Romans had erected in the temple, replied that retribution can be left to the Lord.' The earth-moving machine was slowly making progress towards the roundabout with the shovel high above the heads of the combatants. Shmuel Eregast did a step forward and yelled in the faces of Moshe Cohen and professor Hubnoth a quote from Leviticus.
'“If a man lies with a man as with a woman, both have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”'
Again the rabbi intervened and, addressing Shmuel, said that David and Jonathan were gay.
'It is written in 2 Samuel 1:26; “Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of a woman.”'
The professor and his friend hadn't said much during this altercation, they had let the quotes come down on them as rain, but now the professor raised his chin, squared his shoulders, stepped forward while stretching his arms, not unlike Moses, and making movements as if he was dividing the sea.
'Step aside,' he ordered. And, impressed by this display of force and determination, everybody moved away, the archbishop and his entourage, the rabbi, Shmuel Eregast. Only Elia ben Oso-Pardo stood his ground, he even did a step forward, strengthened as he felt by the yellow monster behind him that was following him at a slow pace.
'My pride is not shattered by your criticism, on the contrary. Step aside,' the professor ordered again.
Tensions rose to an unprecedented level, little drops of sweat gleamed on Elia's forehead. Professor Hubnoth straightened his sequin sleeveless dress and readjusted his bra with the hard, fake breasts and took a deep breath. And then, in the wink of an eye, landed a supreme, devastating right uppercut on Elia ben Oso-Pardo's solar plexus, immediately followed by a left on his chin. The interim mayor was knocked out and a few men from the mob dragged him out of the way of the yellow earth-moving vehicle. Only professor Hubnoth did not move, with legs spread and arms on his back he stood his ground and just like the Chinese student defied the tanks on Tiananmen square in 1989, he defied the yellow monster.